March 28 -- Feast of St. Guntramnus

I had not known, nor even suspected, that murderers and divorced people would have their own patron saint, let alone that it would be the same guy. Still after reading about him, I cannot question the Holy Father's judgment. Okay, I shouldn't question the Holy Father's infallible judgment anyway, but in this case I'll confirm his wisdom. [I am sure that all over the Vatican there are sighs of relief.]

Guntramnus came from a successful if not overly religious family. Dad must not have been a Christian, because Gunny was raised without The Faith and yet his mom Clothildis was a saint. His brothers were King Charibert and King Sigebert, meaning that everyone in the family had the title King or Saint. He of course had both, having been the monarch of Burgundy and Orleans.

Heaven's to Mercatrude, even!

So here's where the patronage comes in. He divorced his wife, Mercatrude, probably because every time someone said her name, he thought about Snagglepuss and laughed. It would have caused domestic discord, for sure. But later on she fell ill, and when her doctor could not cure her, he had the poor man murdered. Not many ex-husbands would be that thoughtful, you must admit.

Following his conversion to Christianity, he repented all his brutal acts and devoted himself to building up the Church. He was generous to the unfortunate, but strict with lawbreakers, except those who transgressed against him personally -- including two would-be assassins.

His skull is now kept in a silver case in the Church of St. Marcellus.