June 17 -- Feast of St. Hypatius

After the reign of Julian the Apostate, it was tough for a monk living in the heart of the Empire to get himself martyred. Christianity had been restored as the official religion and the worst of Christian theological fratricide had not yet begun. Sure, an industrious monk might have angled to be released from his monastery so he could go off to the wild hinterlands to die while trying to convert pagans, but those stuck in the monasteries were condemned to natural, obscure deaths.

St. Hypatius was once such fellow. He had a conversion experience at nineteen that led him to become a hermit. He must have joined a monastery at some point because he eventually became an abbot. He was a partisan in the fight against the Nestorians, a faction in the debate about reconciling the duality of Christ: God and man. In particular, the phrase Mary Mother of God disturbed them, though they were certain that Mary was the mother of Jesus the Man. And as satisfying as the fight must have been, it seems there was little danger that it would get him martyred. True, he did shelter some others who were being hounded by Nestorians, but living within an abbey has some defensive value.

Then he heard that a Christian prefect named Leontius was planning to revive the Olympic games in Constantinople. He denounced the games as a festival of Satan that would lead to a revival of pagan idolatry. He led his monks out of the monastery and into the office of the bishop, who was properly distressed at the riotous delegation.

The bishop sagely answered, "Why die, when no one is forcing you to sacrifice? Go back to your monastery and keep quiet and let me deal with this."

But not Hypatius. He declared his intention to assault Leontius at the games the following day and thus earn the a martyr's crown. Leontius, catching wind of the mad monk's plan, announced that he had fallen sick and canceled the games. They were not rescheduled, and though he died of natural causes years later, Hypatius was eventually recognized as a saint. Geek, sports-hating saint, perhaps, but saint nonetheless.