I think some of the irreverent humor has been sifted out of the saints' stories, especially by those whose struggles against impiety impelled them to downplay the impiety of the Christians in the face of Roman polytheistic orthodoxy. [Boring note to be skipped: Orthodoxy is not a word to be used with the Roman religious system. Hell, system is not a good word to use when talking about the Roman religion. No one gave a damn what anyone believed, as long as two conditions could be met. First, one must offer sacrifices to the gods, whether they believed in them or not. Second, one must offer sacrifices to the genius of the emperor if that particular emperor happened to be a god.]
Saint Symphorian was born to a patrician family. During the reign of Marcus Aurelius (who became a god immediately after he died), he was called upon to offer the proper reverence before an idol of the goddess Cybele. Here's what I think he said:
"Of course I will gladly offer the proper reverence. Will you please lend me a hammer and chisel?"
Here's the way it is written up in the Wikipedia, which is pretty close to other sources: "He studied at Autun and was brought before the provincial governor Heraclius for not worshipping the pagan goddess. Symphorian is said to have asked for tools to destroy the statue." It's pretty flat that way, but after all the suppression of Christian heresies and heterodoxies, I can imagine they didn't want to extol the virtues of wiseassery in the face of authority.
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