September 7 -- Feast of Saint Regina

St. Reine-de-Bretagne, France - town seal

Regina was born in the third century in Autun, Gaul.  Her mom died giving birth to her and her dad, a polytheist named Clement, handed her off to a nurse.  For convenience, the nurse brought her home to care for her during infancy.  Being Christian, the nurse also baptized the infant Regina and exposed her to the faith and rituals as she grew. 

When the child went back home, Clement had a fit that his daughter spouted this monotheist nonsense and demanded that she stop.  When she resisted, he disowned her and returned her to the nurse's family.  If you are thinking It could have been worse, then fear not, gentle reader, it will be.

A German statue of her with a martyr's palm and sword

She tended the flocks for her adopted family, and like so many Biblical shepherds, she formed a close personal relationship with God.  As she grew, she caught the eye of Olybrius the Proconsul.  When Oly did a background check and found that this hot little shepherdess was actually born of a patrician family, he proposed.

Regina explained that her chastity was a promise to Jesus.  Olybrius explained that Emperor Decius had forbidden promises to Jesus, and that horrible things were happening to people who kept such pledges.  Regina said something like Bring it on.  Anticipating Westley's reply to Buttercup in The Princess Bride, Olybrius said "As you wish." 

Olybrius had to battle Gallic rebels, German invaders, and the like, so he imprisoned Regina while he was gone.  He figured a couple of months chained to a wall might help her see the wisdom of polytheism and marriage.  He was wrong, of course.  Subsequent elements of the story include (but are not limited to) :

• scalding water
• iron combs
• a wooden horse
• whips
• shackles
• red hot pincers
• torches
• a cross

How a girl can resist such a suave and persistent suitor is beyond me, but that's why she is a saint and I am just a blogger.  In the end, Olybrius had Regina beheaded.

The dove that hovered over her in the last stages of torture and during the execution helped the faithful stay strong and the polytheists to find their way to Christianity.